A case in point... the "baby thing" in my earlier post. Although it's by proxy ... (ie the daughter connection) it lives in us innately. Sometimes it's better to have a great friend than a partner who doesn't "fit". Enjoy what is great and don't attempt to put a really square peg in an obstinately round hole. That's a recipe for heartache and frustration. Keep him in the space where you can cope and enjoy.
Wish you all the best in these important but complicated relationships.which is short for; if we sat down somewhere to talk I would have loads of questions because what you've been sharing during these years that I've been following you often have resonated in varoius ways and made me think of my own choises, be it with my partner or my daughters. But this is not the place, so just know I think you're very courageous!❤️
To be able to see that your friendship could be worth more than the romantic hope you had is amazing. I am sure that given space and the ability to each run your lives as works best for you, you will develop a strong bond of friendship and non of us can say what that might expand to in the future. Or indeed if the knight on a white steed should come your way.
Take each day for the joy it may bring. As for being a distant grannie, well I’m sure many distant grannies have great relationships with their grandies. We are blessed with technology that can help you make the most of them with video calls and chat boxes.
I have no grandchildren but enjoy quilting for the offspring of friends and their grandchildren. Also the Linus project that gifts quilts to children who need them.
Keep marching towards your future with faith in yourself Rachel.
Been thinking about you Rachel all afternoon. I was wondering have you booked a trip yet to introduce yourself to your "next gen child"? I think you will find it satisfying and gratifying to put your current "mummy-thinking" into where it belongs". LIke the previous poster I would like to ask you some challenging questions but this isnt the place and I will MMOB and let you fathom it out in your own time. Funny when its someone else's conundrum clarity comes quickly into focus. I will put my "sheepdog" personality traits into their kennel where they belong.
Love how clear and authentically you write… very interesting topic on personalities and relationships… it seems like an advantage to be 40 ish and able to see so much more than a 20 yr old who might be in your shoes unable to be rational and decide how much work they want to have in a relationship. Not that there isn’t work in all relationships, just more in some. Wishing you smooth sailing in the romantic seas of love.
Hubbs and I lock horns when we are sort of behaving the same, or our stubbornness is apparent. We are completely different. I grew up everywhere (US and Europe by Dutch parents) and hubbs grew up in Michigan. He had a very stable and wide ranging up bringing.
Mine was kind of challenging. We are who we are. He is the stable one.... but I am the "rational" one. Life is exciting! Relationships both friendships and romantic are wonderful.
During my first pregnancy, at some point, I forget what month, my obstetritian announced that I was now in a "feed and grow situation." hahaha My ex proclaimed at the time, it was his (the doctor's) finest hour. Maybe your current relationship is in a "feed and grow" stage. I like to have my ducks in a row and feet to the line. But life just laughs at us and happens anyway. Here's to happy healthy feed and grow situations.
I don’t think I can contribute anything to your big life decisions at the moment, so I’ll just say you look beautiful and still so young in that photo with Floris, and ask about the flying quilt in the last photo? It intrigues me. Have you posted about it previously?
A case in point... the "baby thing" in my earlier post. Although it's by proxy ... (ie the daughter connection) it lives in us innately. Sometimes it's better to have a great friend than a partner who doesn't "fit". Enjoy what is great and don't attempt to put a really square peg in an obstinately round hole. That's a recipe for heartache and frustration. Keep him in the space where you can cope and enjoy.
Well put! I agree with it all.
Wish you all the best in these important but complicated relationships.which is short for; if we sat down somewhere to talk I would have loads of questions because what you've been sharing during these years that I've been following you often have resonated in varoius ways and made me think of my own choises, be it with my partner or my daughters. But this is not the place, so just know I think you're very courageous!❤️
To be able to see that your friendship could be worth more than the romantic hope you had is amazing. I am sure that given space and the ability to each run your lives as works best for you, you will develop a strong bond of friendship and non of us can say what that might expand to in the future. Or indeed if the knight on a white steed should come your way.
Take each day for the joy it may bring. As for being a distant grannie, well I’m sure many distant grannies have great relationships with their grandies. We are blessed with technology that can help you make the most of them with video calls and chat boxes.
I have no grandchildren but enjoy quilting for the offspring of friends and their grandchildren. Also the Linus project that gifts quilts to children who need them.
Keep marching towards your future with faith in yourself Rachel.
Sue E
Been thinking about you Rachel all afternoon. I was wondering have you booked a trip yet to introduce yourself to your "next gen child"? I think you will find it satisfying and gratifying to put your current "mummy-thinking" into where it belongs". LIke the previous poster I would like to ask you some challenging questions but this isnt the place and I will MMOB and let you fathom it out in your own time. Funny when its someone else's conundrum clarity comes quickly into focus. I will put my "sheepdog" personality traits into their kennel where they belong.
Love how clear and authentically you write… very interesting topic on personalities and relationships… it seems like an advantage to be 40 ish and able to see so much more than a 20 yr old who might be in your shoes unable to be rational and decide how much work they want to have in a relationship. Not that there isn’t work in all relationships, just more in some. Wishing you smooth sailing in the romantic seas of love.
Very good Rachel!
The idea that opposites attract is usually true.
Hubbs and I lock horns when we are sort of behaving the same, or our stubbornness is apparent. We are completely different. I grew up everywhere (US and Europe by Dutch parents) and hubbs grew up in Michigan. He had a very stable and wide ranging up bringing.
Mine was kind of challenging. We are who we are. He is the stable one.... but I am the "rational" one. Life is exciting! Relationships both friendships and romantic are wonderful.
Being a gramma is fun.
Live life joyfully, but make those big decisions with discernment.
Just enjoy this young man for who he is. It’s wonderful to have this sort of relationship. You don’t have to co-habit to have the very best love.
During my first pregnancy, at some point, I forget what month, my obstetritian announced that I was now in a "feed and grow situation." hahaha My ex proclaimed at the time, it was his (the doctor's) finest hour. Maybe your current relationship is in a "feed and grow" stage. I like to have my ducks in a row and feet to the line. But life just laughs at us and happens anyway. Here's to happy healthy feed and grow situations.
I don’t think I can contribute anything to your big life decisions at the moment, so I’ll just say you look beautiful and still so young in that photo with Floris, and ask about the flying quilt in the last photo? It intrigues me. Have you posted about it previously?